Prison Cuisine - Out of Octopus!

Using food as punishment seems unethical, which is why critics of nutraloaf call it cruel and unusual punishment.

The Eighth Amendment does not state that prison food must be tasty or aesthetically pleasing, and hundreds of prisons around the country serve this delicacy to unruly prisoners. Nutraloaf, once described by Chicago Magazine food critic Jeff Ruby as "a thick orange lump of spite with the density and taste of a dumbbell,” is an unseasoned brick of carrots, cabbage, beans, and tomato paste.

In December of 2015, New York decided to end the use of nutraloaf in its’ state prisons. I guess I should count my blessings - no Nutraloaf for me last weekend when I spent over 20 hours in a medium security prison in New York state.

Instead, as a vegetarian, my menu choices included: half a cup of greenish beans, canned spinach, a brownie, corn mush, yoghourt, apple crispless crisp, milk, waffles, lots of white bread and butter. Since I prefer to forgo dairy products and white bread, I celebrated royally when I saw a large bag of fresh oranges. Halleluiah!

I had set aside my weekend and had traveled a total of 180 miles as a prison volunteer to share skills and exercises promoting non-violence with motivated convicts, spending long days confined to our workshop room.

Not only was the workshop a success, with enthused and eager folks wanting to turn their lives around, but I was able to indulge in juicy, aromatic, drippy, finger-licking, fresh fruit— a big treat during my food buying moratorium/ larder emptying project. I lost count of just how many oranges I wolfed down.

Actually, we outsiders are given permission to bring in one store-bought unopened bag of nuts, a small bag of fresh veggies, a small tub of hummus and one unopened bottle of water each day. I cannot share any of this with the guys who exclaim, “Hummus! I used to eat hummus.” Out of consideration for their lack of food choice, I often dine away from the crowd.

Fresh fruit used to be on our gate clearance list, but for some reason, has been nixed by the powers that be. I am told that prisoners are creative, and could ferment the fruit into alcohol, which is why we could not bring in trail mix with dried fruit in it. Five raisins here and five raisins there might add up to trouble!

Yes, I did have to break my moratorium rules and food shop for my weekend away in prison as I did not have store-sealed containers of anything, but I justify the ten dollar deviation as necessary for my sanity. Glad I had the choice not to fast in prison while co-facilitating the workshop. I likely would not have been very productive or present.

Many of our workshop participants live in honor dorms with kitchens, so they can do their own cooking with mailed and approved ingredients sent by family, or items purchased at the commissary.

I was told by several disappointed consumers, “There’s no more octopus this week. They’ve run out.” Though I have not food shopped in ten weeks, I might enjoy strolling down this slammer’s shop aisles, out of curiosity.

I’ve heard stories of how overweight incarcerated men have lost numerous pounds eating the restricted quantities of food they are served in the clink, and sometimes I think this is the world’s best kept secret. Why pay lots of money for a gym or diet plan, when you can just go to prison and lose weight and keep it off? Just kidding. I don’t wish prison on anyone.

I’ve also been told  by those with health issues that they blame the nutritionally challenging diet. There’s good reason to not end up in prison, if only food considerations.

I  was happy to munch on my baby carrots, and to sample whatever novelties appealed from the well- used brown plastic divider dishes of edible (questionable) institutional items, knowing I am free to return to my kitchen, where I have leftover bean burgers and squash soup to finish up.

Here’s a recipe I found online, not endorsed by me, but worthy of acknowledging its creative use of available ingredients:

Chocolate Cherry Vanilla Prison Pie

This recipe was devised by William Heirens, who was serving a life sentence in Illinois. Heirens stated that this was his favorite dessert before discovering he had diabetes. Heirens was the longest-serving inmate in the United States until his death in 2012.
Pie Crust Ingredients:
• 1 bag of vanilla wafers
• 5 oatmeal cream pies
• 1/4 cup water
• 2 tablespoons of butter
  Pie Filling Ingredients:
• 2 packages of powdered milk or 2 packets of vanilla cappuccino
• 1 package of cherry Kool-Aid
• 2 packets of sugar
• 1/4 can of Sprite
  Topping: Hershey bar

Directions:

Break vanilla wafers into little pieces while still in the bag. Crush up the oatmeal cream pies, then add to the vanilla wafer bag. Mix the water in with the vanilla wafers and the oatmeal cream pies. Add butter. Shape into a ball, press into pan or a bowl, shaping up the sides to resemble a pie crust.

Filling:In a large bowl, mix all filling ingredients with a spoon and stir for 5 minutes. Pour into pie crust and allow to set until pie is firm. After the pie is firm, melt the Hershey bar in the microwave and pour over pie.

Hosting a Hungry Household

“Mom. Your freezer is full!” my daughter Emily exclaimed after she’d resurfaced from my basement. I’d sent her down to check the mouse traps and laundry, but she couldn’t resist checking my food stash.

She and her husband Tim have been visiting the past several days, and we have been feasting on all sorts of homemade delicacies, as I continue to exercise self-discipline and use up ingredients which I had in stock.

Before they arrived from Vermont, I’d had an anxious moment when I told myself, I should stop at the store and get some supplies that they might enjoy—be the perfect hostess, of course. I did resist, and figured it would be more fun to stick with my New Year’s challenge to myself, and let the sprinkles land where they may in terms of hosting guests. Fortunately, they are appreciative of anything homemade, are flexible, and graciously support my creativity.

I extracted some frozen grape leaves, stuffed with cauliflower from my freezer, and made some lemon garlic wild rice with chopped up spinach (Spanakorizo) to complement the meal. I’d put on my winter gloves and dug deep to find spinach, as it is usually the first home grown veggie to go into my chest freezer in the spring, and subsequently, ends up at the bottom, buried.

Another evening we dined on winter squash chili over fried polenta. I made some applesauce chocolate cupcakes for dessert, which I over-filled with an apricot coconut mixture. They were a bit lumpy when I replaced the cutaway cone of cake to plug them up, but that did not ruin our experience in the least. The chocolate maple frosting covered them adequately.

For another meal, I combined tvp (a dry soy product) with baked puffball mushrooms which I had frozen in the fall, to make an unmeat loaf. A jar of my homegrown / homemade tomato sauce and ground flax seeds bound the ingredients together. We brought it to my housebound parents to share. They had no choice but to indulge, and hopefully to enjoy.

For breakfast, we enjoyed apricot almond rice pudding, made with sweet rice, which is a bit chewier and gooey-er than simple brown rice. I used unsulfured apricots, which are not as pretty as the sulfured variety, but are as tasty. As a topping, I combined a bag of my homegrown peaches with arrowroot as thickener, cardamom powder, pear juice and a jar of locust blossom agave syrup which I had made in the spring and had canned. The light syrup has a slight floral aroma and flavor, which reminds you of early summer. The pendulous clusters of white blossoms dangling from black locust trees emit a fragrance which can overpower even an insensitive nose and that to me, smells aphrodisiacal.  

It seems that all we did was eat! And mostly healthy desserts.

This torte has an almond oat, maple crust. I layered maple glazed fruit over the leftover apricot coconut cupcake filling which I spread on the dough.

Guess I did not have to worry about feeding guests. Though, any spring time guests will definitely have a different experience dining with me, when all I have available is an abundance of homemade salsa and frozen nettles.

Ooo -da- lah-lie!, I just noticed three cans of organic coconut milk on my counter— a gift from appreciative family fairies I guess. The can label encourages, “Go ahead, conquer your quest for adventurous taste and find your inner Zen.”

When Emily and Tim leave on Sunday, I intend to continue my culinary adventures, and maybe that inner Zen will appear. Likely it will. Even if I dine alone.

Squirreling Away Acorns

A friend asked me, “Do they taste good? Is that why you spend so much time collecting and processing acorns?”

I recently learned of Chinook Olives (white peoples’ term) from Wikipedia. “The aboriginal people of the Columbia river valley used urine to cure acorns. Piles of acorns were placed in a hole near the entrance of a house. The acorns were then covered with a thin layer of grass and then dirt. Urine from every family member was collected and deposited in the hole for the next 5 – 6 months. The dish was considered a delicacy.”

No, I am not about to use acorns this way. But I do enjoy and look forward to the seasonal fall ritual of collecting acorns, the meditative processes of bending over to fill buckets, finding the perfect rock with an indentation upon which to smash them with a hammer one by one, picking the nuts out of the shell, then the step-by-step process of rendering them edible.

I enjoy being outside, searching on the ground for free food native to where I live. I also enjoy experimenting with unusual cooking ingredients. Having acorn meal/flour sparks some novel creativity.

I’d remembered acorns as bland, but as I was heating up a recent batch, I noticed their earthy smell, and my heart started beating faster with eager anticipation.

Not everyone has taken the opportunity to feast on acorns. Unfortunate, as oak trees grow throughout the world, and its nuts are tasty, nutritious, and a sustainable food source free for the taking. The only competition being squirrels and resourceful neighbors gathering them for pig food.

C. Hart Merriam, founder of the US Fish and Wildlife Service, says it better than I, in an article published in National Geographic Magazine in 1918. http://soda.sou.edu/Data/Library1/030203d1.p

“That a food of such genuine worth should be disregarded by our people is one of many illustrations of the reluctance of white man to avail himself of sources of subsistence long utilized by the natives. We seem to prefer crops that require laborious preparation of the soil, followed by costly planting and cultivation, rather than those provided without price by bountiful nature.”

This article has some cool photos of Native Americans with burden baskets slung over their shoulders, harvesting and processing acorns. However, there are no pictures showing the Klamath acorn camps where men, women, and children gather round after a meal and engage in removing acorn hulls with their teeth.

I prefer metal tools. My teeth do too. All the better for chomping and chowing down those acorn delectables, like pancakes, donuts, drinks, soup, meatless balls, fritters, stuffing, ice cream, cookies, muffins etc.

Our helpers, Rose and the nut grinding machine

Why don’t most folks consider gathering and eating acorns?

Most people don’t know you can, and acorns are not an instant food, requiring processing time to render them tasty.

It is an easy process using water to leach out the bitter tannins. You can find the process online. Basically, you soak the acorns in water until they no longer taste unpleasant. Natives used to place them in baskets in streams. I use my stove top. My son used his toilet tank, until his wife decided that pushed her comfort levels.

I ended up with four quarts of gluten-free flour, and froze three. I was also able to barter with my son—a bucket of unprocessed acorns for precious carrots, sweet potatoes, and onions from his surplus stash. I especially value the fresh produce now that my vegetable supply has dwindled during my food buying moratorium/empty the larder challenge.

Acorn and sweet rice flour tortillas  

topped with guacamole, hummus, and sunflower sprouts

Some fun acorn facts

*Acorns require 1/10 the water than growing wheat

*Some Native Americans had an acorn storage room and children would use it as a bouncy house,      jumping and cracking the hulls

*Roasted acorns can substitute for coffee

*During WWII, Japanese children collected over a million tons of acorns to help feed their citizens

*Acorns are a cash crop in Turkey, Korea and Algeria

*Oak trees produce acorns for hundreds of years, after they pass the 25 year mark

*Racahout des Arabes, a very popular hot drink in the 1800’s, was made from acorn flour, sugar and thickeners, was often recommended for young children and invalids. It was the precursor to hot cocoa mix, with cocoa replacing acorns

*A pound of acorn flour online is $32.95 per pound

A great source with enticing recipes Acorn Foraging by Alicia Bayer 

along with her family website

http://magicalchildhood.com - Passing on traditional skills to live well on less